“Why do we have so many relationships nowadays reduced to only sex?”

This question has lingered in my mind ever since a close friend of mine asked me about it. To be honest, at my age most youths tend to think sex is the way to go.

I won’t deny the fact that sex builds the bond and just takes the whole situation a notch higher. But I might not be 100% convinced that sex is the only thing that matters in a perfect relationship.

Trust, communication, respect commitment and love way supersedes sex. I’d take my chances on this that I might get more mixed critic reactions than the kinda supportive kind of reactions.


Personally I do believe in connecting with a partner. Getting to know each other more and letting our guards down for what we believe in. For those we care about.


The rules of the jungle states otherwise in a flattery situation. The alpha male always turns out to be one. And one who plays their cards right gets to win the ultimate price. Get all the good girls.

Sometimes though am stuck between waiting for the right one and chasing what you really want.The saying ” if u want it go for it doesn’t really make it easier. More of a conundrum.


Nowadays relationships have been reduced to situationships. The state of the moment determines what is there between two people. Let’s vibe till whenever, friends with benefits and one night stands have turned out to be the new normal.

Blames have been put on individuals. Others have been branded fuck boys. Pouncing on every available chance they get to devour and conquer.

It goes way deeper than just what it looks like. Talking from experience  I’d say shitty past, trust issues,lack of self esteem might just be some of the few setbacks that brings about this kind of decisions.

Sex is a connection. Sex is sweet. Who doesn’t really admit to that fact. But is it always the only way to get a deeper connection with someone you like and probably wanna spend some quality perfect moments with?

Sex aside. What do you see in someone? Do you see the caring them? Their amazing personality? Beautiful heart and just so many others good things that they can be made of?

Maybe its just the body that turns you on.You meet some pretty babe somewhere and all that pops up in your mind is “oh yeah I wanna definitely get some lone time with her for a fancy night.”


I’d really go for the bond part if I liked you .Let’s do some late night talks. Go for a walk. Go for a date. Hikes. Swimming Probably eat ‘mtura’ together and just have so much fun moments together.

I’ll have to admit love builds up on the small things we despise.


Sex has been glorified many times. Body counts being the new competition in town. For most men it is self fame. One is never ashamed boasting about it to the boys club. On the other hand a lady with more body counts would be looked down upon and deemed misfit in some kind of way.

I wouldn’t judge because nobody knows what really excites others. Let’s look at the reality picture here. The one thing that most tend to turn an eye blind to.

What next after that romcom moment you have together? Will it lead to something more or just derail you. Will it give you a motive to try elsewhere and compare tastes?

Will you still look at him or her and probably build castles in the air of what a perfect match you just got yourself. Oh! I’d bet most turns out not so good. We’ve had the much desired moment. What’s left! Nothing to offer other than the sex.


What if we were to build our connections. Bring back the conservative past to the present. No cell phones. No internet.
The sneaky little moments of passing letters via our younger siblings.

Setting up meetings verbally and just getting the feel of it. Getting to know each other. Meeting by the riversides. Stealing glances at each other secretly because it would be some hell if our parents figured out what was going on between us.

In as much as I’d point out the old ways of flirting as the perfect build up moments for a deeper bonding,we’d as much as have to deal with the change in times. The technology and just the internet.

Jeeez! Our generation has been sucked into the realms of the internet. Everything including our relationships. From meeting online,to dating and finally breakups without even meeting.


But for one who truly desires and wishes to have a long lasting relationship with someone. Giving energy to the bond process would never be such a task.Getting to know each other deeply without necessarily thinking of each other sexually.

Well its undoubtedly sex would come up.But let sex never be the main thing that holds a relationship!

8 thoughts on “However Justifiable Sex Should Be The Last Option”
  1. I’ve always said the same thing over the past one year and then boom,you brought it out. True,most relationships have been reduced to sex,that I wouldn’t even consider it love. Sex is good but it should be the last option in love

  2. In my opinion sex does not and has never bonded a relationship that is not marriage . Most of the young people use it as a means to get what they want , to earn bragging rights , to fit in and so on . Cause if it speeds up the bonding process then why so many partners?That would mean you got a hell lot of wives which sounds ridiculous. I believe those who dangle up sex as a form of bonding sum up excuses for the poor quality of people they are. Imagine this…your parent after finally realising you play honky ponky in their absence tells you to pack up , no money no job no nothing just plenty sexual partners,,,not friends either cause lots of it is no strings attached , what you gonna do? It’s honest to accept that the internet and entertainment industry have contributed alot to the loose morals we see around but blaming them solely for something someone does in their right frame of mind when they could have chosen an alternative sucks you know…an opinion

  3. This is Soo encouraging dear, keep the fire of journalism burning… All youths should see this and change their mind sets

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