Well everyone is allowed to think, crave and desire. Not only that but also have some crazy wishfull thoughts and expectations that we long to undertake by all means.
Good future, awesome kids, a well paying job, a good family ,amazing holiday destinations and many more.

Mine is no different case only this time round my thoughts and desires took me down the drain. Leaving me with a chain of regreats and lots of wasted time.

With a not so well off back ground and a dozen of siblings that look up to me for survival, it gets crazy all the time. Good grades from primary one. Getting a chance in one of the outstanding chartered public universities in Kenya. A free will to do what I always wished for. Above all the enthusiasm that enrolling in a higher institution comes with.

Being a university student comes with many expectations and roles that require very critical measures in undertaking them.This is worse when you are a student in a government institution.

There is a common saying on the streets that one studies hard to go to university and not go to university to study hard. Maybe I agree with it now.

Admission into the university comes with the ” I am finally free mindset “to many teenagers . Many tend to find freedom. Space from the watch of parents, free will to do what they want and to others just the idea of getting a chance to experience making decisions alone is a thriller.


One thing many fail to understand thou is that the free will is just another step into being responsible . It trains one to self manage . Think of survival plans and execute business ideas. Its the age to grow and build a connection. One that comes in handy in the future.

I am part of the many who came to realise it all too late. Getting wasted with parties all weekend ,Bad company, indecisive actions and many others. Studying could be a time waster and just the thoughts of exams could see me catch some cold.

Exam weeks became the most dreaded moments of my life . In as much as I managed to pull through and come back to the light.The power that came with the free will had already fucked me up.I had to start from scratch.Many of my peers way ahead of me. My friends no longer there to support me, torn to pieces with a lost hope.

Not all of us get what we wish for in life but time and chance happens to all… to that I can attest. All of us are given That opportunity to make a difference with our lives. Let not our side wishes be a hindrance in achieving the best!

9 thoughts on “Raped By My Own Wishful Desires”
  1. “…free will is just another step into being responsible.” This is true. You can’t be responsible without freedom. And you can’t be free without being responsible.

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